Scaring the guy I'm dating

I told my mom I was going to Thanksgiving at my um.. the guy I'm seeing's family's house. This is the phone call that ensued:

Mom: I don't think you should go to his house for Thanksgiving. I thought you told me it wasn't serious.
Me: It's not.
Mom: Why can't you go to your cousin's house or your uncle's house?
Me: Because I'm going to So-and-so's house.
Mom: I don't think you should. I REALLY REALLY don't like him.
Me: [decline to explain to her that she hasn't even met him.]
Mom: When did you meet him? Did you break up with ExBoyfriend because of him?!
Me: Um, no.
Mom: ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM?!
Me: I'm not having this conversation with you.
Mom: WHY CAN'T YOU TELL ME IF YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM?!
Me: Um, I'm not having this conversation with you.
Mom: HE MIGHT HAVE AIDS!!!!
Mom: If you don't say no, I know you're sleeping with him!! Are you on birth control??!
Me: I'm not having this conversation with you.
Mom: I saw them in your room!! I know you're on birth control!!
Me: I'm not having this conversation with you.
Mom: Why are you doing this to me?! Why can't you just give me a yes or no answer! I'm going to get your dad to talk to you.
Me: Okay, I have to go now. BYE!

I relayed this phone call to Mr. So-and-so. He was a little disturbed that she hated him already: "She doesn't even know me!" Ah, he's only starting to understand what he's getting in to.

IMing with yo mom

more specifically, IMing with C. about her mom.

C: Momma S (1:34:30 PM): hope using SNN's utlrabraid for sutru
C: my mom just sent me a completely unintelligible sentence
C: i think that's one of the few times that i haven't had an inkling of what she wanted to say

less unintelligible but not any more sensible:

Momma S (1:36:58 PM): well you also need to ask how to drink in order for fluid to run into the wrong pipe
Momma S (1:37:07 PM): that is how people die

Thank god my mom still thinks that only evil pedophiles use AIM.

Momma S (1:39:27 PM): I guess you have take pyshcology?
C (1:39:34 PM): nope
Momma S (1:40:48 PM): such as have a full cup of water and sequeeze yourmuscle to drink